Handling the loss of your heart dog. My story of loss.
The dog who was always by your side no matter what. The dog who knew exactly what you were thinking at all times. The dog who you bonded with so closely no other relationship could ever compare to it. This is what we call our heart dog.
The loss of your heart dog is an extremely hard one. I lost my heart dog Marvel on October 6, 2025 and it felt like my entire world came crashing down in a second. That day Marvel and I had a blast at barn hunt class which is something we did together every other Monday. Marvel had one of those nights where he was on fire and one of his searches was a five rat master run he did in about two minutes which is very fast for him. It was an amazing time at class. We got home from class and he was off. He didn’t want to get out of his crate but I coaxed him out of his crate. He was walking strangely and we suspected he was sore somewhere. I asked him to go outside for last call before bed. I was out of eye sight but I heard a loud bang against the house which I found strange. I went to look outside and Marvel had collapsed. I called his name and he tried to get up to walk to me and collapsed on the way. I carried him in the house and realized he couldn't stand. I called for help from family members and we all looked at Marvel before deciding we need to go to the emergency vet. We rushed him to the vet where they quickly came back with a diagnosis. Splenic Hermangiosarcoma….. My world crashed down in a second. A majority of the time when you learn your dog has hermangiosarcoma it’s too late to do anything. The tumor has ruptured and the internal bleeding is so bad you have no options and no time. His happy tail thumps when he first saw me when they wheeled him back into the room broke my heart. I had to let go of my heart dog and best friend that night.
The outpouring of support and grievances was both amazing and hard. Marvel had touched so many people during his short time with us. There was so many circles of people who heard Marvel stories of him at my work, or the dog sport community interacting with him often at trials, or all of my students who have come to know him quite well over the years. There is many people who cried along with our family when the heard of his loss. Every dog I have ever trained both personally and with my business has been influenced by him in some way by the things I learned with him.
The weekend immediately following Marvel’s loss was the barn hunt trial we were preparing for. My dad and I decided to attend with our other dogs in his honor and the barn hunt community was the most supportive people which is what we needed the most.
Grief hits hard. Like a freight train hitting you out into oblivion out of nowhere. Your entire routine changes. Things you have done for years gone or not necessary. It’s the little things that hit the hardest out of nowhere. Like only getting out two food bowls instead of three. Or not having a dog there to sleep with you at night. Only taking one dog out to the car instead of the normal two dogs. Grief hits our pets too. Our other dogs Friday and Laena didn’t know where Marvel went. They searched the house and yard for him relentlessly for weeks because to them he just disappeared.
I am thankful for having Friday who stepped up as my competition dog and friend. Our relationship is different, not in a bad way, but different than the relationship Marvel and I had. Friday couldn’t understand why suddenly she was getting all the attention, but she took all of it very well. Friday and I’s relationship has gotten closer over the past several months organically.
Laena being Marvel’s daughter is a double edged sword for me. It’s wonderful to have a part of him still here with us in our day to day and that we didn’t lose him completely. The downside is there is reminders of him around all the time. Random idioms he used to do that she does, his stare looking back at you though not his, the barks that sound exactly like him but aren’t him.
Doing the first things since losing your heart dog is hard. The first trial without him there. The first time instructing without him there. The first time judging scent work without him there. The first hotel stay without him there. The first time training my dogs without him there. Especially since Marvel was the dog who started all of these things for me.
Through Marvel’s loss I had to learn that life moves on and that you have to keep pushing forward in order to grow. It’s easy to try and avoid all the things that remind you of your heart dog, but if you go that route you don’t begin to heal from that loss.
I now do many of the things Marvel and I used to do together in honor of him and his memory. It can be very hard at times. I have decided to have a mentality that no matter what we need to have fun with our dogs. You never know how much time you have left with them. Time is finite and you need to make the best of it.
In loving memory of Marvel. SD WSD UCD BN UWP EN CAX URO3 EGCH Von Der Kings Superhero SPOT-ON CGCA CGCU SWM RATO RN BCAT FDC TKI CA ATT FTN CSAU CCSS-L1 NSA3 NW2 NW3-I NW3-C L1I L1C BH-VT AD BT PSA2
4/7/17 - 10/6/25